This past week I did a little experimenting.
I decided to see what it would be like to let go of expectations. To take things slow. To just be.
I’m writing this impromptu, personal blog post at the tail end of nap time without a coffee in my hand (which is shortly about to change) and not at the table.
I spent pretty much the whole week eating snacks and watching Gilmore Girls because it only sort of feels like fall and I just didn’t really feel like doing anything else.
My house is clean enough. It’s not spotless and it’s a definitely cluttered. There’s more clothes around my room than normal and there’s some stuff on the counters that doesn’t need to be there.
I still haven’t put away my shipment of recycled toilet paper.
And finally, we haven’t left the bed until 8:30 or 9 most mornings rather than our usually 7:30.
There are some things I didn’t like about this week.
I don’t like how cluttered everything got. I don’t like how much our rug sheds. I don’t like that Oliver’s room is such a mess or the fact that my closet became completely disorganized. I don’t like all the screen time I’ve gotten from wake up to bed time. I don’t like that we barely made it outside.
And there are some things I did like.
I liked that I didn’t have to rush out of bed. I liked that I didn’t force myself to write, even though you’re technically suppose to do that. I like that I took a break. I like that my house wasn’t too clean. I like that I cooked more. I like that nothing HAD to get done in any particular time frame. I like that I felt no guilt for my lack of productivity. I like that I focused on the good stuff I do in my day to day without thinking of the never ending list of stuff I could be doing.
WHAT I LEARNED
I need to declutter
It was too easy for things to find a home where it didn’t belong. My counters drove me a little crazy but I just didn’t know what to do with the stuff that landed on them.
That’s clutter though. It’s the stuff that doesn’t have an official home so you just put it in the designated clutter spot until you eventually decide to deal with it.
So I need to declutter once a week. Not necessarily get rid of stuff.. but at least find a place for things to stay.
Maybe I’ll get a clutter box too.
I watch too much TV
I already knew this. But I do. I’m drawn to it. It’s what I feel like doing, even when I have nothing to watch.
I don’t really know what to do about this one. I know my day will open up when I finally kick this habit, but I love turning my brain off even though I love what it can do when it’s on.
So I guess I need to just stop with TV. This may not be a quit cold turkey kind of thing, but little by little I’ll watch less and less.
I think right now I’m drawn to it because it’s the easiest thing to do when the boy is awake. I don’t have to give it all my attention, but when he gets distracted with something for five seconds, it’s a place for my attention to go so the day doesn’t drag on as I sit and watch a one year old try and figure out how to be a person.
So I’ll figure it out. I will.
I need to read more
More blogs, more books. What have you. I just need to do it.
So give me recommendations. I don’t like slow moving books right now. Maybe later when I’m used to it.
We have to get out more
I love getting coffee. I love going to a shop where you can sit outside and look around. I like it even better when I can let Oliver run around without worrying about him running off too far.
I like being outside, but I let things like weather and comfort get in the way.
I haven’t fully adjusted my old, pre-mom life to my new, mom life. I’m still learning how to do the things I loved with a little pal right next to me.
But I’m learning and more and more we’ll get out and explore the towns we live in (since it seems to be a new one every month these days).
EVEN WHEN IT FEELS LIKE i’M NOT DOING MUCH, I’m STILL DOING ENOUGH AND THAT OKAY
This was the biggest goal of the week. I wanted to let go of the expectation that we have to do everything we possibly can in a day. I wanted to let go of the idea that I wasted my time if I didn’t do something productive every second of the day.
I played with my son, I was pleasant to my family, I fed everyone, I swept when I needed to, we still had clean laundry, we got out of the house a little, I continued to grow a human baby in my belly.
I did my “job” and I did it pretty well.
I think that’s the tricky thing about not being the bread winner. I don’t always feel like I’m doing enough to make up for the fact that my husband is paying for me to live in a nice apartment and buy stuff like recycled toilet paper and snacks to munch on while I watch TV.
It’s too easy to forget that daycare alone costs a small fortune and watching kids is hard work. It’s easy to forget how much energy fetuses really steal from you. It’s easy to forget the value of a homemade meal.
It’s especially too easy to forget the value in being happy and making your life what you want it to be.
We don’t all need to do something awesome. We don’t need to have a fancy career and a perfect family with a perfect house while indulging in the “right” hobbies. We just have to do the things that make us happy.
I think you can learn a lot from taking breaks and pushing things aside for a bit. Eventually, you have to snap out of it, but a stay-cation can be very informative from time to time.
So there we go. I gave it a try, and I like a slow living lifestyle. It fits my personality nicely. As long as I have enough time for everything, I’m golden.