A PLAN FOR THE NURSERY

Nesting is here. It’s here strong.

Part of it may be because we’re in a new place so I generally am trying to get settled in, but also… baby stuff!

Now that I’m in my second trimester, past all the high miscarriage percentages of the first trimester, I can really get excited about this baby. That, and we found out (drum roll please) it’s a boy!

Honestly, my first trimester was spent in a blur of moving and settling into our new home. This second baby, unfortunately, did not get to be the center of attention in my mind. He was pushed off to the side while I dealt with the day to day of having a new home, a new routine, and a one year old who learned to run faster than walk.

Now, I am officially ready so settle into being a second time mom and start preparing to welcome this newest addition to our home. I’m so excited to start making the additions needed to create a home for two babies instead of one.

Since I already have one boy and both my sisters in law have boys, I don’t really need any clothes or anything. I’m pretty sure we’re set on boy clothes for life. So I’ve decided I’m going to pour all my planning energy on creating a little nursery space in our room.

We have this really pretty window spot where our dresser currently lives. I’m going to take all that and move it to the closet so I can create a sunny little baby spot he can call his own.

NURSERY INPIRATION

To start, here is some of the inspiration I’m pulling from!

A PLAN FOR THE NURSERY - This Wild Home
  1. I really loved the idea of a bassinet for Oliver but we just didn’t need one. For this baby, it just makes the most sense.

  2. The neutral tones in here are real nice.

  3. I really like the playful pops of color in this room.

  4. I like the idea of having some kind of design on the walls to really define the space.

  5. I feel like this is the perfect blend of playful and grown up that a bedroom nursery needs.

  6. These guys really did a nursery in the bedroom right.

MY SHOPPING LIST

And then of course, here are the items I’m using to create our own little nursery in the bedroom.

  1. The bassinet and stand.

  2. A few wall decals.

  3. This wall hanging.

  4. This cart for diaper + clothing storage.

Photo Source

WHY I WENT MAKE UP FREE FOR A YEAR + WHAT I LEARNED

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WHY I WENT MAKE UP FREE FOR A YEAR + WHAT I LEARNED - This Wild Home
WHY I WENT MAKE UP FREE FOR A YEAR + WHAT I LEARNED - This Wild Home
WHY I WENT MAKE UP FREE FOR A YEAR + WHAT I LEARNED - This Wild Home

It's hard going out in the world with no make up. Honestly, it kind of feels like our whole life needs a photo filter.. Something to hide all of our imperfections and hard days from everyone. I mean, wouldn't that be great? We could just deny all of our bad feelings and qualities and only accept the good, insta-worthy parts of ourselves! But no. It's unhealthy. It's extremely mentally and sometimes physically unhealthy to deny our imperfections.

This is why, for the past year, I have not worn make up.

It wasn’t a very intentional choice. I didn’t declare I was going to stop wearing make up forever. I just kind of woke up one day and decided I didn’t feel like it. I decided to brave the world bare faced and, sort of, proud.

This step was a big one for me. Before my impromptu make-up ban, I wouldn’t wear tons of make up. I always tried to keep it as “natural” as possible while still hiding what I hated and accentuating what I loved.

The moment I realized I needed a break was when I noticed how I felt on the inside. I’d be caking up my face to make myself look pretty, but I'd be crying on the inside because I didn't believe I was pretty without it.

That's not to say make up was the problem, but my reason for using it was a huge problem.

I've been wearing make up since I was 13. At first, it was just a fun thing to go way overboard with (like five layers of blue eyeliner on the reg). But somewhere along the line, it became a necessity. I'd struggled with acne problems and self-esteem issues and, at some point along the line, I couldn't face going in public without my makeup on. It was a very sad time to be me.

So one day, as I was struggling with some eye liner and messing up putting lipstick on (because I was very bad at applying make up, even though I did it everyday), I had a thought:

Why am I doing this thing that makes me feel so bad?

Why was I being so cruel to myself? It's not cruel to put make up on in general. Really, it can be a fun thing to get into. But when you're putting it on while thinking of all the reasons you’re ugly without it, you are being cruel.

So I decided not to. I just stopped. I made a vow that no matter what I was not going to wear make up for a day. Now, it's a year later and I am more confident than ever. I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin and to own my imperfections. Any issues I had that were valid (acne, frizzy hair, health related stuff, etc.), I was able to pinpoint the route of the issue and actually solve it.

WHAT I LEARNED IN MY YEAR OF NO MAKE UP

IT GIVES YOUR SKIN A MINUTE TO BREATHE

And your skin will thank you! It's too easy to forget about your skin. We all love that natural glow of healthy skin and yet, when thinking through our beauty routine. It's easier to just cover up unhealthy skin than it is to nurture it.

When I finally gave up make up, I was forced to expose my acne, dry skin, and blotchy face to the world. At first, it was tough. I knew without a doubt that you could see all those red dots filling my face and it was my main focus anytime I was around anyone. Carrying on a normal conversation was difficult because most of my mind was consumed with the idea that whoever I was talking to thought I was gross because of how bad my acne was.

So finally, I was forced to figure out why my acne was so bad and how to fix it. I researched all the different tricks to fight acne, tried all kinds of routines, and finally found what works for me.

When I finally stopped clogging my pores with toxic, cheap make up, my face could finally breathe. It could take in some fresh air and begin to heal from all the years of saying it wasn’t good enough.

YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY

Maybe your eyebrows aren't as thick or your eyelashes aren't as full, but that's all compared to fake beauty. This concept took me so long to understand.

When you’re looking at photos of perfectly done up faces in the right lighting with the best filter, obviously you’re going to feel pretty ugly in comparison. But it’s not real. It’s not a real face with real features. It’s like comparing a high definition photo of a perfect flower bouquet to a regular field of flowers on the side of the highway.

Really, they’re both beautiful, but they’re not the same thing at all. One was curated to purposefully bring the best things together to create something beautiful. The other is a naturally occurring beauty that doesn’t scream in your face. It’s not blatantly obvious. But when you notice it, when you learn to appreciate it, you really can’t beat it.

Just because make up can bring out features you don't naturally have and hides features you wish you didn't have doesn't mean it makes you feel better about yourself. Really, it doesn’t mean that it’s making you any more beautiful than you already are.

When you force yourself to go out in the world as you are, you realize that other people like seeing the real you. As long as you are taking care of yourself and keeping yourself relatively clean, people don’t notice that your eyebrows aren’t as thick and your eyelashes aren’t as long.

Eventually, you stop noticing too. At some point, you’ll look in the mirror and see yourself. Your imperfections will become a part of who you are and your favorite qualities will be perfect all on their own.

YOU GET EXTRA TIME

Obviously, you just roll out of bed and you're ready. On top of that, you'll avoid starting the day with looking at all your flaws. Just brush your teeth, wash your face and you're out! You skip the spending minutes to hours of covering yourself up. You skip the negative thoughts and touch ups throughout the day.

The time I spend on my face now a days is when I’m taking care of it. My beauty routine has become one of my favorite parts of my day because I know everything that’s going on my face is to care for it. The enhancement I make are permanent and all naturally occurring. My days are spent full of self care and giving real problems real, permanent fixes.

YOU'LL WANT TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF

This is a big thing that happened for me. As someone who was once a pizza face that couldn't rid herself of the greasy pepperonis, I can now say that I've been mostly acne free for a while now (besides the hormonal flair ups I just can’t seem to a void)! And it's all thanks to my make up hiatus.

How you think of yourself and how you take care of yourself go hand in hand. They both have a lot of influence on what you think you’re worth.

When you feel ugly and ashamed of yourself, you’re not super motivated to actually care for yourself. What you eat doesn’t matter because you’re going to have acne anyway. What you put on your face doesn’t matter cause you can just cover up all the things you hate.

When I stopped wearing make up, I couldn’t treat myself that way anymore. Every little acne on my face was a symbol of how little I felt I was worth. How little I cared for my body and myself. I had to start facing the fact that I needed to eat better to change, not only how I looked on the outside, but how I felt on the inside. I realized that if I didn’t take care of myself, things would never get better. Not my looks for sure, but more importantly, not my outlook on life. Not my feelings of inadequacy.

If I didn’t start caring for myself better, I’d never have the life I wanted. I finally started taking the steps to treat myself like someone who was worthy of care and really, worthy of happiness.

I LEARNED HOW TO FACE MY PROBLEMS HEAD ON

I would say that letting go of make up was one of the biggest changes I’ve made for myself. I’ve always been okay at dealing with my problems, but mostly I like to just ignore them or hide them. Maybe on a personal level I can face the issues in my life, but when it comes to being honest about them and confiding in people, I’ve not been great at that.

That’s why make up was so important. I could hide my acne, hide my stress, and pretend I was perfect. I could hide the fact that I was sad and had no faith in myself. I could hide the fact that I felt hopeless when it came to my abilities.

When I stopped wearing make up, I really did have to face facts. I had to talk about my acne problems and self esteem issues. I had to face how I viewed myself and I finally had to talk about it.

Now that I’ve been make up free for a while, I can actually see the transformation my life has taken. I can feel the change in my confidence, I can see the change in my circumstances, and I’m living the change in my values.

So will I ever wear make up again?

Honestly, I do miss it at times. I miss being able to go and buy a new make up item and play with it and try it on. I miss being able to take part in conversations about different brands. I love seeing all the clean beauty trends going on and there’s a big part of me that wants to start engaging again.

So we’ll see. For now, I’m still working on getting my skin 100% stable and to the place I’d like it to be. Once I feel good about it, I may start dabbling in the make up world again.

Mostly, I hope this inspires you to give yourself a break, cut yourself some slack, and start loving yourself a little more. Even if it’s just for a day, I encourage you to try going make up free. See what kind of feelings arise when you show the world the real you.

TAKING IN EVERY MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD

TAKING IN EVERY MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD - This Wild Home

Something I stopped saying very early on in motherhood was, “I can’t wait until…”

I stopped saying this when I was sitting in my in-laws living room with my brand new baby. Somewhere in the conversation I used that phrase, “I can’t wait until…” and my mother-in-law replied with something that changed my perspective completely.

She told me things change so quickly that you’ll be in the moment you “can’t wait for” very soon. Then, you’ll be wishing you were back where you are right now.

From that point on, I’d say, “It’ll be fun to see…” but I could definitely wait. From then on, I had no problem waiting. Whether it was waiting to get out of the sleepless nights or the days before my kid could smile. The never-ending days of just sleep, eat, poop, repeat. I took them all in the best I could because one day, they’d be gone.

Now that I’m passed it, I do sometimes miss the days where Oliver would sleep on my chest and I could cuddle him whenever I wanted cause he didn’t know how to push me away yet. At the same time, I love being in the toddler stage where he has an attitude and keeps throwing things in the trash.

All you have are the moments you’re currently living. The more you think back or forward, the more you’re missing out on creating vivid memories of your children from these moments, right now.

LIVING IN THE MOMENTS OF MOTHERHOOD

So this is it. These are all the ways I’ve found to live in the moment with your kids and create vibrant memories that will last a lifetime.

SKIP THE PICTURE

It’s so tempting to take a photo anytime your kid does something cute. But as their parents, we always think they’re doing something cute. From sleeping to eating to babbling to whatever. Our kids are cute. They learn something new everyday and every little thing feels so extremely significant. Like it’s something we have to document.

It makes me think back to the days before cellphones with nice cameras. Really, before digital photos. The days when all you had was a roll of film in a camera that was put away somewhere, nowhere near you when your kid happened to do something cute.

These people still rememeber the moment. Maybe even better than we’ll remember our photographed moments. They remember what their kid said or did. They remember the cute look they gave as they did it. They may not have a photo or video. We may not be able to go back and relive the memory with them, but they remember. They got to live that moment to the fullest without the distraction of trying to get an insta-worthy photo to share with their friends.

I think these days, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not document everything. It’s okay if your kids or grandkids can’t look back to see exactly what was happening, because you and your kid will have an important memory together. One where they weren’t watching you half heartedly looking back and forth between them and your phone. Instead, it’ll be one where you were there with them, wholeheartedly engaged in the moment.

LET THEM INTERRUPT YOU EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

Obviously, we can’t always pay attention to our kids. First of all, it’s good for them to learn how to play by themselves. Second, kid stuff just isn’t fun enough to fill your whole day with it. Plus, we need our time to and the occasional nap time sometimes is not enough.

So you get it. There are going to be moments where we’re not engaged with our kids and that’s totally fine. But sometimes, in those moments, our kids want to engage with us. They either need us to help or they just want us to look at something.

In those moments, it’s so easy to say, “Let me finish” or “I’ll get to it in minute.” Which honestly, for the most part is fine. We can’t teach our kids that they can have exactly what they want right when they want it.

Sometimes though, it’s nice to throw them a bone. It’s good give in. I think in those moments you can show them that no matter what you’re doing or where your mind is, they’re still the most important thing. While you can’t get to them right away every time, if you find yourself in a moment where you can indulge them right away, I say take it.

It’s those moments where you can make your kids feel special and you can take a break from what you’re doing to feel special with them. To take part in creating a bond with your kid that will last. To create a memory between the two of you where they felt important and you made them feel that way.

STOP EVERYTHING AND WATCH THEM FROM AFAR

Sure it sounds creepy, but you’re the parent here. You get to watch your kids from afar and it’s not weird.

Something I lost touch with a bit is my ability to get fully engaged in little things. In a meal I’m eating or a thought I’m having. In an activity I’m doing or a small thing I found on the ground. Kids though, they’re really good at that. They’re so good at getting lost in their own world and forgetting everything around them.

These are the times when you can catch them being their most selves. All their walls are down, they have no motives, they’re not trying to get something. They are simply enveloped in their own minds, exploring all the places they can go with it.

I love just stopping sometimes and looking over to see what Oliver’s doing. He’s still a little young. It’s usually nothing crazy, but it’s always something. Whether he’s engaging with my husband or another family member, getting super into a TV show, book, or toy he likes, or just running around like a crazy person. I always find a smile on my face and it brings significance to even the most plain days.

GET INTO WHAT THEY’RE DOING

Our kids love us. Even if they hate us, they love us. Even if they don’t agree with us all the time, they want us to care. They want us to be proud. They want us to think what they’re doing is important and cool. They want to share everything with us whether they say it or not. Whether they willingly show us or not, they want us involved in one way or another.

The best way to get involved is to get into it. Does your kid love baseball? Learn everything you can about baseball. Go to every game. Take them to a park to throw a ball around. Does your kid love reading? Take them to the library, find a series you can read together.

Whatever they’re doing, whether you can do it with them or just cheer them on from the sidelines, do it. Be the loudest cheer in the crowd, go to every concert, read every paper, see every play. Whatever they’re doing, get into it.

Seeing your kids find something they’re passionate about is a dream every parent has. Encourage them to get into life and all it has to offer, big and small, by simply being there right along with them. (With in reason. Let them be independent and don’t smother them, obviously.)

SURPRISE THEM WITH TICKLE ATTACKS AND HUGS OFTEN

I don’t care if your kid is 2 or 20. Tickle attacks are always a good idea. Even if they hate it, it’s a good idea.

I feel like physical affection is a weird thing. There are so many different views and motives and boundaries. We all have our own comfort zones, but it’s an important part of bonding with other humans.

It feels like your kids reach a certain age and all of a sudden they become another adult you know. They have their comfort zones, you create new boundaries. You can’t really kiss them all over their face anymore. They’re too big to hold.

But kids will always feel like kids and parents will always be parents to them. I think there’s a fine line between giving your kids space and responsibility and making sure they know they have a safety net. Making sure that no matter what, they will always be our kids.

That’s why I think tickle attacks and surprise, out of the blue hugs are important. It brings back those moments in childhood where you were the big one and they were the little one. Where you were there when they needed you and everything was okay.

FIND SOMETHING TO APPRECIATE IN EVERY MOMENT

Even the ones where they pee on you or throw away everything, including the iPad. Every little thing that happens right now will one day be a story to look back on. These moments will never happen again. They might happen a lot in a small time frame, but for the most part, this is it. This is what you have.

Some moments are picture perfect. They’re the ones you know you’ll look back on fondly and hold onto with everything you have. There’s also moments that suck. They are just the worst in the moment. Either they do something horribly annoying or you react with no self control. The moments where someone is walking away upset because everything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong.

Those are important moments too. With time they may be funny. You may be able to laugh it off and appreciate how much the problem really didn’t matter in the long run. But some of those moments are important learning moments. Learning how to make your kids feel safe. Learning how it feels to be a monster. Learning how it feels to have no control over this life you’ve created.

Even the bad moments are good in their own way. Every moment with our kids is precious time we’ll never have again. It’s so important to take it in while you can. To not let modern day technology and expectations get in the way of giving your full attention to the moment.

We teach our kids so much through what we do and how we treat them. We are responsible for showing them what they’re worth and how they should expect to be treated. These moments are the difference between a strong person that demands respect and a person who lets people walk ll over them.

Living in the moments of motherhood means so much more than just experiencing each second of it.

It’s showing our kids that moments with them are worth something. They mean something to us and nothing can change that. We may not always be around. We may not always be able to show up when we’re needed, but when we can, it’s important that we do.